Afterglow
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Detours? Detours?

Detours, in perception, is an alternate route. It is a temporary road used instead of the main route.
People are forced to go through this route because of unavoidable circumstances.

So this is the situation, I was through a hard time.
The 'crisis me' was in a desperate situation, I wanted to try something new. I wanted to do some diversion, and thus a detour looked tempting and for me, at that time, it was needed.

I was intimidated. I was afraid, yet I was excited.
It was painstakingly weird, for a lost woman like me, but I needed a run of emotions.
I needed to move desperately forward.
I indulged myself in that dark, mysterious, bumpy yet inviting road.

It was dark, it was full of surprises, good or bad.
It's like walking in the dark, you needed to adjust.
And for someone as confused and as distracted as I am, it was hard.
You'll hit bumps and dead ends, but then another spark of light would guide you towards another direction. Towards somewhere, somewhere that you don't know but needed.
This was repeated until it was somehow, a routine to look forward to.
I was finally feeling the joy of experiencing the dark of the night.
I wanted to stay, but all of a sudden, there was a bright flash of light. It lasted for only a few seconds, but everything was laid out in front of me. The sudden brightness and the ecstasy of the joy was overflowing, there were different emotions until I made a decision, a decision that I didn't expect that I would regret but somehow it was the right decision. I stopped at that spot, and wanted to leave the detour and get back on the main road. On a road although unfathomable, but somehow, it is a road I am familiar with.

So there...
Happily, Sadly, Doubtful, but with Morals.
I left the detour.
Intoxicated.

After a few struggles towards the brighter plains. I was back on road.
I was doing fine, I was fine with myself.
But then a few voices told me that I can still go back. That it's not too late. That there was something at that detour, that there was light and heaven.
As doubtful, regretful and hopeful as I was, I hurriedly went back,
only finding myself that I was alone.
That there was nothing to go back too.

And there I was, all alone.
In the dark.
Back to where I left,
with only a tinge of shallow lights.
Stuck. With little hopes. Of getting out.



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But what if this detours turned out to be better than the main route?
What if you felt best in these detours, that even though it may only be temporary, you were happy. And little by little, you wanted to stay there.