Afterglow
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Am I being an adult?
Monday, September 1, 2014 || Monday, September 01, 2014
I have every right to be mad.
I was left midair and in a turbulence.
I can tell everybody that he's an ass.
But, I'm just here trying to understand and make do of the things that I know.
I'm trying to renounce all the promises he made.
I'm trying to be happy for that person.
Am I becoming a mature adult?
Maturity hurts a bit more than I thought it would.
After Him
|| Monday, September 01, 2014
Sometimes I just feel so lost.
I was watching the Last Cinderella. I was captivated by their warm stares.
And I was jealous.
I had something like that. Someone who would look at me with those warm eyes. Telling me that I was the only one. Smiling beneath the kisses.
Sometimes I would think that maybe, I could get that same thing from another. But there would be no feelings, no connections and no warm stares. And I couldn't bring myself to do it with just anybody else.
That's what I've liked with kisses, hugs, gazes or sex. It's a magical thing. Especially with the one you love.
In just mere moments, you just want to slow time. You felt secured and happy.
You felt all the happiness rising up to your head. Whether it's your dopamine or serotonin at work, you just didn't care. And you never wanna let go.
I want that stares again. I want those eyes that will call me theirs.
But... will I ever find that love? That kind of love? Am I transitioning into a path where I just couldn't believe that there will be anything greater than that? Will I choose the security over the fleeting and fluttery feeling?
It was over, but I'm thankful.
I did some things that are wrong. But, I don't regret it.
I think I did my best, but there will be more ahead of me.
And I will look forward to it.
I just hope that there will be someone.
It may not be great, or exciting or hot.
Just as long as we're happy and it's true.
I hope that I could have my one last and forever love again.
